How to Bounce Back From Your Mistakes
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Making mistakes is inevitable. It's a part of the human experience and it's also a part of learning, growing, and evolving. In today's episode, I unpack the difference between mistakes and failure and provide tools on how we can engage in self-forgiveness in order to move forward.
What is the difference between a mistake and failure?
Mistakes are actions that bear negative consequences as a result of Lack of judgment, incompetence, etc. Failure, on the other hand, can be defined in two ways: a lack of success or negligence in taking action. Although they are two distinct definitions, mistakes can lead to failure depending on how grave the situation is.We often hear stories of businesses failing, and there can be a variety of reasons for this such as a lack of funding or poor strategy. However, regardless of the specific reasons, when a business fails, it is unable to achieve its mission of scaling.There are things we all strive to do and goals we aim to achieve. However, sometimes we fail to succeed, and it's important not to take failure personally. Often, we beat ourselves up because we allow our mistakes and failures to define who we are, instead of seeing them as circumstances that can be changed. This is the battle between guilt and shame. Guilt means acknowledging that we did something bad, whereas shame means believing that we are inherently bad.
Feeling guilt, however, enables empathy and understanding. It signifies that you have done something wrong and provides an opportunity to make amends or improve in the future. This leads us to practice self-forgiveness in order to release and move on from things that are beyond our control.
How do you practice self-forgiveness?
If you want to embark on a journey of learning how to show yourself compassion and grace, these are two simple steps that you need to follow when it comes to self-forgiveness
Step one: Accountability (acknowledgment of the injury, harm, or wrongdoing)
The first step in bouncing back from your mistakes is to accept them. You cannot change what was already done, and ruminating on it is not going to make the situation less daunting. It's important to acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and that it's a part of our journey. Take the time to reflect on what went wrong and the lessons you can learn from it. Remember, mistakes provide valuable insights that can guide us toward better decision-making in the future, even if our mistakes lead to failure.
Remember this: pretending nothing happened erodes trust with others and also with ourselves.
Step two: Repair ( take an actionable approach to doing things differently)
Once you have accepted your mistakes, the next step is to learn from them and adapt. This is where self-efficacy comes in. It is your confidence in your ability to problem solve, learn, and take action to create the life you believe you deserve. Identify the specific areas where you went wrong and consider how you can improve. Seek feedback from others and be open to constructive criticism. Use this information to develop new strategies and approaches that will help you avoid similar mistakes in the future.
Finally, you may be wondering how you can tell if you have forgiven yourself. The answer is simple: you are no longer held hostage by the mistake. You no longer dwell on what went wrong or criticize yourself for your negligence or wrongdoing. You feel free and trust yourself enough to go out there and try again.
Reflection questions:
Can you think of a recent mistake or failure you've experienced? What were the circumstances surrounding it?
How did you initially react to the mistake or failure? Did you blame yourself or others?
What were the consequences of the mistake or failure? How did it impact you or those around you?
What lessons or insights did you gain from the mistake or failure? How can you apply them to future situations?
Have you taken any steps to make amends or learn from the mistake or failure? If so, what were they, and how have they helped you grow?
How has this mistake or failure shaped your perspective or approach to similar situations in the future?
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